The Diversity Projekt
Empowerment for All People of Color
-
Whose Curves Are You Talking About
When did Curve Mag start representing only a limited segment of lesbians/queer women? Femininity seems to be the order of the day, since it appears that the rest of the gender spectrum has been kicked to the curb. When did this happen? Have I been living under a rock? Quite likely, given my schedule as of late.
The Medic recently voiced her disgust over the recent Curve issue, but I could have never imagined how disturbing the issue was until she pulled it out of her bag last weekend. Not that the whole A-Spot article in January’s edition was pathetic enough, but March’s issue takes the cake! (Yeah, I finally learned how to use that saying!)
Now, I know that I am about to rant on a lesbian institution, but give me a minute! On to what has me grumbling! –> Page 11 – “This Is What A Lesbian Looks Like”
Interesting choice of words! I am thankful that not all lesbians look like this! While I dig femmes being represented and getting a shout out, I am baffled at how limited the reflection of queer women are in these pages. The most recent article about female Olympians took the approach of toning down their masculine edge. (link forthcoming)
I remain baffled at this overwhelming fear of anything even remotely in the butch camp. Kinda ironic given their founder and publisher, no? I am the first to applaud femme empowerment, but am also keenly aware and appreciative that lesbians and other queer-identified women come in many wonderful shapes and sizes and colors. Curve should be taking it upon itself to make policy about what a lesbian does or doesn’t, should or shouldn’t look like. Just sayin!
Does Curve really want to be the new Cosmo? If I want to read Cosmo…..I will read Cosmo. Curve was always my go-to mag for its pulse on the lesbian community. Apparently that ship has sailed.
The bottom line…I no longer feel represented in the pages of Curve! Not visually, culturally, socially, or intellectually. Not even a little bit. As a queer woman of color I feel very much invisible within the lesbian community to begin with. I expect mainstream society to balk at me, to accuse me of misleading people into assuming I am straight, to question my orientation because, according to them, I don’t fit the part. I can take that on. It barely hurts anymore. I have grown a tougher skin.
However, the sting is sharper from within our community. I know not everything is about me! I do try to tell myself that from time to time. However, I surely am not the only other queer woman of color out there who feels under-represented (or not at all) within the covers of LGBT mags. When the “best selling lesbian magazine” claims to have its finger on the pulse of the lesbian community (as if it is some monolith) and then cherry picks which narratives to reflect the lesbian experience, it makes a statement of what they view is truly reflective of the community.
Just sayin……
Latina? Who, me?
I was recently invited to speak at at a conference to discuss the ways in which I live and “navigate multiple, sometimes conflicting identities” – as queer, femme, mixed race, transnational, and how said identities influence how I see “life on the margins.” The interesting part….I was invited as the “Latina” on the panel. I needed that part repeated. Me, as the resident Latina.Growing up I thought that I was half German half African American. The Latin aspect only emerged recently when I found my birth father and began talking with his older brother and my half brother. I can’t say that I even have a Latina-consciousness or that I have even really contemplated what that means to me.
I comprehend my gender identity – femme – so much better than my ethnic/cultural identity. I understand it and feel it in every fiber of my being. Being femme is just….its me, my center. I feel profoundly liberated by my femme-ness, precisely because it feels natural and innate without needing to be juxtaposed against something else – butch comes to mind or anything else along the spectrum for that matter. Now, the butch/femme community and the greater LGBT community…that is a bigger can of worms. Nevertheless on a micro level I make complete sense to myself, and really, that’s all that matters. Now, I should back up and qualify that – I didn’t always feel that way. There was a time when I didn’t posses the vocabulary or understanding that described me - ok I am going to leave that train of thought for another day. I digress. Point is I make sense of some of my various identities – femme – and others not so much.
Culturally, I understand and can process being mixed. The individual components rarely ever make sense though. And, honestly…I rarely ever force them to. I know where I belong in the mixed experience. In many ways “home” is far less complicated within the mixed community than any of the other communities that I am a part of.
So, what does it mean for me to be Latina?
Half the time I think that I know very little about what it means to be African American. I do understand the mixed experience – the hybridity. Since ethnic identities are societal/social constructs, can I really claim to be something that I know nothing about? Can culture really be reduced to cuisine, music, and cultural and artistic traditions mixed with a little geographic positioning? If that’s the case, anyone can learn to be any ethnicity of their choosing. I think not! I do think that ethnicity is something that begins as a communal experience that finds expression in individual identity. Hmm….I think I just figured out what I am going to talk about…..
I still have a bit of time to consider since the conference is in November. Nevertheless, I should probably get back to the program committee by mid-February since paper/panel submissions are due March 3rd.
Embracing Diversity or Eroticizing Women of Color
Miss Belgium
I don’t quite understand the world’s fascination with beauty pageants – parading human beings around like property. Nevertheless, I stumbled upon the intro to Miss Universe 2009 on Sunday night. After a glance of Zeynep Sever, Miss Belgium and was curious to see who was representing the various other European nations present. Zeynep is originally from Turkey. She and her mother moved to Belgium when she was 12. After winning the title, she quickly found herself in the middle of a charged racial debate over whether a non-Belgian (read, not white) should be allowed to win the crown and represent Belgium at the Miss Universe or Miss World competitions. Because…well, we all know all Belgians have blond hair, blue eyes and are white, right?
Miss Switzerland
This same debate was playing itself out in other European countries. I discussed the controversy in several blog posts when Whitney Toyloy was crowned Miss Switzerland last fall. Many protestors argued that she could not adequately represent Switzerland, because she wasn’t actually Swiss. (Age was another lesser factor compared to her ethnic makeup.) She is of American, Chinese, Panamanian and Swiss heritage. Some even called for pageant officials to rename the competition “Miss Multiculti” to more ‘accurately’ reflect who was wearing the crown. This rests on the assumption that to be Swiss is the white, a narrow and highly inaccurate reflection of the actual demographics of the Swiss population.
In the same month, Avalon-Chanel Weyzig, who is half Indonesian, won the Miss Netherlands competition. She received far less brumtata about her win. The fodder took on a different dimension. A great deal of it focused on how exotic she is, that being ethnic gives her a particular edge over other contestants. One reporter went so far as to say that her look catapulted her within the top five likely contenders to win the crown. The response? Avalon received an increase in hits on a pageant betting site.
Miss Netherlands
Fast forward to December 2009 – Chloe Mortaud is crowned Miss France. She is French and African American, Creole in fact. France has crowned several black and mixed women over the last 10 years or so. Yet, there was still debate around her win. Prior winners from former French colonies. The rucus surrounding the current Miss France stems from her American roots. Race seems to be somewhat secondary, although there several off colored racial remarks posted to various list servs.
Miss France
All of this intrigues me. I am most intrigued by the comments left on various blogs and sites that announced these contest winners. Many comments are blatantly racist and xenophobic. “Why are foreigners representing [fill in the blank].” “The contest should be renamed Miss Multikulti” “Foreigners are taking over. We will be a Muslim country before you know it.” “I am not being racist….just protecting my culture.” ….and so forth!
So, is the fact that more European countries are awarding their highest pageant titles to mixedchicks a sign of a shift in the tide? Or, is it just another way in which white Europeans are choosing to eroticize women of color?
The New Voter – MixedFolk Style
In mid-June of this year, SwirlPhilly hosted Philadelphia’s first official Loving Day events. We took a trip to the Franklin Institute for a viewin of their “RACE: Are we really so different?” exhibit. We also received permission to hold a discussion within the exhibit space. It was a great opportunity for us to share our impressions of the exhibit and how it fits into the legacy of Loving Day for us. Other topics included the fluidity and social construction of race and racial identities and the impact of being trans-national and mixed in U.S. society. We also talked about the marriage fight being waged across the country – same sex marriage. Swirl National released talking points just a few days before the event. Individual chapters have always bridged the gap between mixed and lgbt communities, and I am so very proud and excited that we are doing so in a more intentional way.
Another guest was the University of Maryland “News21 team” who were there to film our Loving Day events. They filmed our exhibit tour as well as the discussion. A few of us also had the opportunity to speak with them individual on the day of the event and a few weeks later. Chris and Nick came back to interview a few SwirlPhilly folk – three of us were chosen for the “Beyond Other” video segment.
WHO:
Chris Matthews, 25, is an M.J. candidate at the Philip Merrill College of Journalism. He has interned at Fox News Channel, the Mount Hope Monitor, washingtonpost.com and Salon.com. He has reported on the U.S. Congress, Bronx politics and a hostage standoff. Matthews aspires to be a foreign correspondent and has traveled widely, including seven-month stints in Paris and Australia, where he was a semi-professional lacrosse player. He received his B.A. in political science from Kenyon College in Ohio. Born in Houston but raised in Manhattan, he is a passionate fan of the Astros, Rockets and the N.Y. football Giants. He can be reached at Christopher.Matthews@news21.com
WHAT:
A team of 12 journalism fellows at the University of Maryland, including two visiting fellows from the University of Missouri and University of Texas at Austin, spent the summer of 2009 taking an in-depth look at how demographic trends are influencing American voting behavior and attitudes as part of News21, a national journalism program. In addition to reporting compelling stories, their goal was to experiment with innovative ways of presenting them. They were guided and edited by a team of experienced faculty and consultants.
So, check out the site, the Mixed Race Section and interviews by several mixed folk on “Beyond Other”, including four Swirlies!
I would love to hear from other mixed people who were raised in a caucasian household or who are trans-national. How does that influence the way you construct your identity?
Loving Day
“We loved each other and got married,” she [Mildred Loving] told The Washington Evening Star in 1965, when the case was pending. “We are not marrying the state. The law should allow a person to marry anyone he wants.”
Mildred Loving fought for her right to marry someone of another race in 1960’s Virginia. More than 40 years later we are still fighting for true marriage equality.
Stay tuned…..recap of Philadelphia’s First SwirlPhilly Loving Day events to come!
Related Stories:
Matriarch of Inter-Racial Marriage Dies
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24468808/
The Huffington Post Interview with Loving Day Founder
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-gandin-le/loving-day-its-not-a-hall_b_51358.html
Village Voice Interview with Loving Day Founder
http://www.villagevoice.com/2006-06-06/people/love-actually
2006 Washington Post Article
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/12/AR2006061201716.html
International Women’s Day 2009
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!
Please take this time to remember the incredible women in your life and those that paved the way before you!I could not have asked for a more perfect day! I started my day in fellowship at The Well and then participating in the IWD 2009 Conference in Center City, Philadelphia. I was a bit nervous about speaking, as I rarely get the chance to speak about faith before my peers in the LGBTQ of Color community. It is less stressful speaking before communities I have less of a personal stake in.
I made some great connections. Suraya Pakzad, Executive Director of Voices of Women Organization, came to speak about Women and Violance in Afghanistan. I was also able to finally meet Gloria Casarez, Director of LGBT Affairs for the City of Philadelphia, Virgina Gutierrez, President of the Board at Equality Advocates, and Wahaadah Shabazz-El of Women’s HIV Network.
The Anna Crusis Women’s Choir sang “Bread and Roses” (btw one of my favorite charities) and the Raices Culturales Latinoamericanas performed Aztec ceremonical rituals and dances. I am extremely humbled that people wanted TDP to faciliate new inter-faith LGBT dinscussions. Many also asked for my business card after my presentation. I definitely did not expect that reaction.
I was disappointed not to see Vanessa Brown at the conference. She is one of our newly elected State Representatives. I met her last year at a Progressive Leadership Women of Color brunch. I asked her when I first met her about the ways in which she intended to address LGBTQ issues in her district but did not receive an answer. I thought, perhaps the second time around would be the charm.
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY
SPONSORED BY THE INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY PHILADELPHIA COALITION
LIBERATION – EQUALITY – JUSTICE!SUNDAY MARCH 8, 2009
PROGRAM12:00- 1:00PM RALLY AND MARCH @ CITY HALL
1:00- 1:30PM MARCH to FAMILY PLANNING COUNCIL
260 S. BROAD STREET1:30- 2:30PM LUNCH/REFRESHMENTS
2:30 – 2:45PM CEREMONIAL OPENING
Raíces Culturales Latinoamericanas Featuring Fuego NuevoOPENING/WELCOME/LIBATIONS by Soda Nobuhle, Arleen Olshan
2:45 -3:00PM CULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Anna Crusis Women’s Choir3:00-4:00PM Anti-War and International Union Solidarity
Kathy Black, Coalition of Labor Union Women (CLUW)The United Nations (UN) Conference on Women
Berta Joubert-CeciSingle Payer Health Care
Patty Eakin, President of the Pennsylvania Association of Nurses
and Allied ProfessionalsWomen and HIV/AIDS
Waheedah Shabazz-El, Women’s HIV NetworkCULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Sisters in Music and Poetry: Monnette Sudler and Trapeta MaysonLesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Communities – A Political Perspective
Gloria Casarez, Director of LGBT Affairs City of PhiladelphiaQueer Womyn on Faith and Spirituality
Kathrin P. Ivanovic, Principal Blogger at The Diversity ProjektViolence Towards Women Abroad: A Darfuran Women Speaks
About Rape as a Weapon of Genocide in Sudan
Fatima HarounWomen’s Heart and Health
Blanca Marti, Nurse Practitioner4:00-5:00 PM Womyn of Color- A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender Perspective LGBTQ Womyn of Color ConferenceCULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Creativity in Movement, Misia DeneaTransgender Womyn of Color – Action, Advocacy, Allies
Jaci AdamsWomen In Politics
State Representative Vanessa BrownEmployee Free Choice Act
Roni Green, SEIUSpoken in Arabic – Multicultural/Multiethnic Organizing
Nehad Khadir, Arab Women’s CommitteeCULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Songs of Hope, Fatimah LorénOccupational Safety and Health Issues Related to Women
Barbara Rahke, Director, Philadelphia Area Project on
Occupational Safety and HealthCULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Raíces Culturales Latinoamericanas Featuring Fuego NuevoWomen and Diabetes
Juanita FigueroaHousing: The Foreclosure Crisis
Louise FrancisWomen and Violence In Afghanistan
Suraya PakzadImmigration and Health Care Access
Teresa Conejo5:00-5:30PM CULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Poetry in Motion, Shayna SheNess Israel (SITY)CULTURAL PERFORMANCE
Raíces Culturales Latinoamericanas Featuring Fuego NuevoAction Plan
ALL5:30-6:00PM Reflections/Closing
Sherrie Cohen, Soda Nobuhle, Arleen OlshanIWD Philadelphia Coalition thanks its 2009 Sponsors: AFSCME District Council 47, Albert Einstein Medical Center, Anna Crusis Choir, Beta Phi Omega Sorority Inc., Carmen Bilingual toys and books, Café con Chocolate, Coalition for Labor Union Women, Code Pink, Darfur Alert Coalition, Hearts and More by Moon Queen, Lia Sophia, MayDay Committee, National Conference of Puerto Rican Women, National Association of Hispanic Nurses, PA Federation BMWED-IBT, Passion Party Consulting, Partnership for Prescription Assistance, Philadelphia International Action Center, Philadelphia NOW, Planned Parenthood, Raíces Culturales Latinoamericanas , Safeguards and Family Planning Council, Sisterspace, Sisters United @ The COLOURS Organization, Inc., Tacto Peruano, The COLOURS Organization Inc., The Womyn’s Village, Women’s Community Revitalization Project.
www.myspace.com/iwdphiladelphia; Email: iwdphiladelphia@yahoo.com; Phone: 267-997-8160
“Family” Woes – Disappointed
I haven’t heard from my bio-father since the day after Thanksgiving. I haven’t heard from my bio-brother since the day before that. I’ve left two voice mail messages, but I am not going to keep calling. I am not even sure what to think about this.
I am disappointed and a bit hurt. I somewhat regret venturing down this path. To some degree it is easier not knowing the whereabouts of birth-family. It is surely easier than sensing lack luster interest from said birth-family after locating them.
I think my bio-father might be a bit upset that I did not meet with him over Thanksgiving weekend. Our plans changed and I thought it was for the best. It’s complicated. Yet, I get the sense that he isn’t taking it well. Actually, I am not sure how he is taking it, since I haven’t spoken to him in over two weeks. Can you tell that I am upset?
I know that it sounds cheesy, but I seriously question whether blood is thicker than water. Actually, I know it isn’t. Shared DNA doesn’t necessarily suggest the existence or possibility for f meaningful connections.
My bio-brother sent me a serious of odd texts last night. I think our life experiences are so vastly different, that relating is a struggle. This yet again confirms that environment is so much more influential than the genes we inherit.
I am probably placing too much pressure on this “reunion” but it is turning out nothing like I imagined it would.
….and the uncertainty continues.
Work and Play, Learning to Balance
I have teetered a bit with blogging since the Thanksgiving holiday. I was so focused on spending time with the family, that I got out of the swing of things. I started a new position shortly after I got back to Philadelphia. And now, I am really in the thick of things at work.
Thank you to everyone who commented on my resume and cover letters, provided unwavering encouragement and let me vent when my patience was running thin.
I truly love this new position. I love the mission, the people, and my work. I never thought that I would be in a position to say that (and mean it). For the first time in my life, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
It is going to take some time to figure out how to balance this position and my personal ventures, such as my blog. I am also launching two independent ventures in the coming months.
….so, stay tuned to see how the balancing act unfolds.
My Hair Has Its Own Zipcode
This post has been stuck in my draft bin for quite some time. I have a habit of starting posts and getting distracted. Reading Light-Skinned-ed Girl’s entry about biracial hair made me think about how my hair has always played a central role in my struggle for identity.
I recently got my hair cut. Six inches. I am not sure what possessed me. I nearly cried. I have had long hair for as long as I can remember. It tends to be more manageable that way. However, ever so often I experience a lapse in memory where I forget how much of a disaster having short hair really is. Then, on an impulse, I decide to get my hair cut and it all comes back to me within an instant. I liken the results to “Whitney Houston in the 80s.”
I recently came upon a fabulous resource for mixed chicks hair. I devoured the site and went out the next day to find Mixed Chicks hair product. Sally Hair Supply didn’t have it. KMart didn’t have it. So, I stopped at Walmart. After searching through the hair care isle, I finally asked a walmart employee if they carried the product. Her answer was quite off-putting. She never actually answered my question. Very matter-of-factly she told me that I had ‘white hair’ and didn’t need that. She then directed me to Pantene and walked away. I am baffled that someone has the audacity to say such things to a complete stranger. Also, I didn’t know that Walmart hired hair-care specialists!
I had long, voluminous (read – frizzy) hair as a child. My hair was fine, but I sure had a lot of it. Combing it was a battle my mother and I waged every morning. I usually lost and ended up in tears. Nevertheless, my mother always seemed to figure out a way to control it. Unfortunately, my dad was not as talented, even though he tried. One weekend, while my mother was away visiting friends, my dad took me to get my hair cut. He became so frustrated with my mop, and thinning it out seemed like the only logical solution. I was game – “Yay, something new.” I came to regret it almost instantly. My mom tried to salvage it, but to no avail. The only solution was cutting it all off. Within minutes, all of my hair was gone, with the exception of one long, thin reminder of what used to be.
The struggle to make sense of my dual heritage has been wrapped up in my quest to tame my hair. Or, is it the other way around? Growing up, I was the little girl with the unruly hair, with pony tails that looked more like two chia pets. My mother really didn’t know what to do with my hair. She braided it. She pulled it together. No matter what, it was always a mess. After the fiasco with thinning it out and then chopping it off, it was a complete disaster. I had an incredible fro for quite some time. Once it grew out again, the battle continued.
Growing up, my mom got perms on a regular basis. I never understood why she actually would want curly hair. I suppose that people always what they don’t have. I wanted nothing more than to have straight, manageable hair.
We tried at-home relaxers that did little more than burned my scalp and left my hair completely fried. The leave-in conditioners for African hair left my hair weighed down and gooey. I even ironed my hair once – with a clothing iron. My life felt as unmanageable as my hair was.
I always equated manageable hair (read straight hair) with a manageable life. I never thought that my life could be manageable with curly hair. I realize how absurd this is now. After all, there are plenty of people with manageable and beautiful curly hair. I always admire them from afar. I wish that my hair could be that beautiful. I have become more comfortable over the years with my hair. I have even come to embrace my curls to an extent. Although my hair is curly and more unmanageable in its current, short state, I still enjoy wearing it natural. I am learning to love my curls.
Ever so often, I still fall back into old behaviors and thought pattern. Case in point: I was getting ready for a job interview a few weeks ago. Since I had to get up fairly early the morning of the interview, I spent the night before planning out what I was going to wear and which bag I was going to take with me. I printed out extra copies of my resume and made sure to stock my wallet with business cards (never know who you meet along the way). I set (and checked) my alarm and made sure that I had the right train schedule. Yes, I am a bit neurotic. I also washed my hair so that it would be try by morning, making it much easier and quicker to straighten. It did not occur to me until I was on the train, that I had never worn my hair naturally curly to an interview.
Although I no longer equate my curly hair to unmanageably of my life, I wonder if I will ever truly feel comfortable. Some days I feel ok (even content at times). Nevertheless, there are more times than I would like to admit where I just want to crawl under the covers and pretend that my hair isnt really complicated.
And the journey goes on…..
An Open Book, Sharing to Heal
This has been an unprecedented and most historic week. A new day has truly come, bringing with it a tremendous amount of responsibility for our new President-Elect, as well as for every single American. Each of us has a responsibility to engage in our communities. We no longer have any valid excuse to complain and watch the world pass us by (not that we really had an excuse before).While Barack Obama will in 74 73 days become the President of the United States and have the authority and capacity to enact change from above, teach and every one of us has the opportunity to enact change within our own lives. The one thing I have learned through this election is that grass roots is where sustainable change really occurs.
Lately, I have spent more time than usual talking politics on this blog I do not view The Diversity Projekt as a fundamentally political blog, at least not directly. I clearly make a political statement with my chosen subject matter and the ways in which I articulate my position, but I would not consider myself a pundit or political commentator. Not in the least.
Nevertheless, I speak about my life, about my experiences and the world around me. In doing so, I am often far more transparent than I should be. I often struggle with how much or how little to share, particularly when it comes to personal and intimate issues. In those instances where I have chosen to redact myself, I ultimately felt like I was editing myself and my experiences away.
One of the issues I have been extremely open about is my recent family reunion with my birth father. Someone recently asked how I could be so open about a topic that is so intimate, how I could experience it in public view. Others have suggested that I not be so public about everything. After a recent incident, I considered being more private about this recent journey. However, after much thought, I came to the conclusion that I would be doing myself and others an injustice.
My life up to this point has significantly influenced why I am publicly documenting my experiences. Looking back, I wish I had documented several earlier events – political and cultural awakening as an AfroGerman and the events leading up to the decision to actively search for my birth father. I have since sketched several aspects of the beginnings of this journey.
I document this journey as much for myself as I do for others who might find themselves along a similar journey. I did not have a road map growing up. Nor did I have anyone to lean on who understood the things I was experiencing or feeling. I did not have any role models who reflected my duality. I often felt like a one person freak show.
Even today, I struggle considerably with coming to terms and being comfortable with my biracial and multi-ethnic identity. I am not entirely comfortable with the color of my skin or my curly hair. I feel equally estranged and rejected from my white and black heritage. Feeling content with living within the margins is something I have yet to achieve.
I hope this blog helps someone, even if that someone is me.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License
Recent Comments