The Diversity Projekt
Empowerment for All People of Color
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Archive of "Politics" Category
Whose Curves Are You Talking About
When did Curve Mag start representing only a limited segment of lesbians/queer women? Femininity seems to be the order of the day, since it appears that the rest of the gender spectrum has been kicked to the curb. When did this happen? Have I been living under a rock? Quite likely, given my schedule as of late.
The Medic recently voiced her disgust over the recent Curve issue, but I could have never imagined how disturbing the issue was until she pulled it out of her bag last weekend. Not that the whole A-Spot article in January’s edition was pathetic enough, but March’s issue takes the cake! (Yeah, I finally learned how to use that saying!)
Now, I know that I am about to rant on a lesbian institution, but give me a minute! On to what has me grumbling! –> Page 11 – “This Is What A Lesbian Looks Like”
Interesting choice of words! I am thankful that not all lesbians look like this! While I dig femmes being represented and getting a shout out, I am baffled at how limited the reflection of queer women are in these pages. The most recent article about female Olympians took the approach of toning down their masculine edge. (link forthcoming)
I remain baffled at this overwhelming fear of anything even remotely in the butch camp. Kinda ironic given their founder and publisher, no? I am the first to applaud femme empowerment, but am also keenly aware and appreciative that lesbians and other queer-identified women come in many wonderful shapes and sizes and colors. Curve should be taking it upon itself to make policy about what a lesbian does or doesn’t, should or shouldn’t look like. Just sayin!
Does Curve really want to be the new Cosmo? If I want to read Cosmo…..I will read Cosmo. Curve was always my go-to mag for its pulse on the lesbian community. Apparently that ship has sailed.
The bottom line…I no longer feel represented in the pages of Curve! Not visually, culturally, socially, or intellectually. Not even a little bit. As a queer woman of color I feel very much invisible within the lesbian community to begin with. I expect mainstream society to balk at me, to accuse me of misleading people into assuming I am straight, to question my orientation because, according to them, I don’t fit the part. I can take that on. It barely hurts anymore. I have grown a tougher skin.
However, the sting is sharper from within our community. I know not everything is about me! I do try to tell myself that from time to time. However, I surely am not the only other queer woman of color out there who feels under-represented (or not at all) within the covers of LGBT mags. When the “best selling lesbian magazine” claims to have its finger on the pulse of the lesbian community (as if it is some monolith) and then cherry picks which narratives to reflect the lesbian experience, it makes a statement of what they view is truly reflective of the community.
Just sayin……
Intentions and Dimensions of Belonging
Anyone who has been around TDP for a while, knows that I struggle a lot with finding a real, meaningful sense of community. I don’t always feel like I belong. I’ve always felt not quite a part of, floating on the margins. I am transnational – German and American. I am a military kid. These things complicate how the world seems me and how I perceive that I fit into the world. My family is no exception to that. I look different than the rest of my family. They are white. I am not. Although we rarely if ever speak of the elephant in the room, there is no denying that. TDP’s recent crisis of identity has a lot to do with my not wanting to hurt my family, nor do I want to alienate them through my words. Nevertheless, I can only speak to my experiences growing up and how they have and continue to impact my quest for self. Their perceptions of certain events often differ from mine. That doesn’t make either of our experiences more or less valid. I think sometimes parents don’t want to see certain things and I think children often process events and experiences differently. The lenses through which we view the world are often very different.How I see myself within my own family is no exception. Aesthetics are the most obvious. I knew that I didn’t look like my parents or sister from a young age. The elephant in the room was glaring to everyone including my family, but no one really talked about it more than one or two times. This had a profound impact on my identify formation, my sense of self. For good or bad, I have grown comfortable living in-between various worlds. While I share many of the same values as my family, an ideological divide has grown over the years. I am queer and left leaning (hell, I am almost horizontal). We have different ideas about fairness, justice, race, class, gender,…..privilege. My mother often dismisses my positions by making some sort of generation/age statement….as if my almost 30 years on the planet haven’t given me the right to form equally valued opinions about the world around me. Again….different does not equate to of more or lesser value.
My bi-cultural, transnational identity is probably the most complicated and murky of my interlocking identities. Depending on which site of the ocean I am standing on (or with whom I am speaking), I am either too German or too American. The notion that both can co-exist equally at the same time seems unfathomable to some, even to me at times. I often feel myself pressured to choose, or even more painful, having to defend one or the other. I am equally protective and defensive (and apologetic) about both. Perhaps it wasn’t just me that was different, but my entire family. I always felt that it was much easier for my sister to fit into both worlds, despite her linguistic barrier. People are less likely to challenge her German-ness. Clearly I don’t fit the image of a stereotypical German. It has taken me a long time to begin to come to terms with my mixed-race identity. It’s something I struggle with today.
It is disappointing that while I feel a part of several communities that are dear to me, I am most affected by the communities (and people) who have rejected me. I am not sure if my bio-father disappearing constitutes his rejecting me. I am not exactly sure what happened back then. Nevertheless, his current behavior definitely feels like rejection. How can you know that your child is out there (and know how how to find her), yet make absolutely no effort to connect? How can you have more regard for the children of the women you date than for those you have a biological connection to? Can you sense my anger? I realize that DNA isn’t enough to build a true foundation on, but it should be enough for some kind of meaningful contact…..a card maybe?! I hate to admit it but, he has caused more upheaval and trauma in my life over the last 2 years than in the previous 28.
I don’t really believe in new years resolutions. Every new day is an opportunity for re-birth and change. Nevertheless, as I am turning 30 this year, I did set a few goals for myself. Instead of focusing on where I feel like I don’t belong, I want to make more of an effort to accept the many ways I am valued and accepted in my life. Although it may not seem overtly obvious all the time, I am a part of several meaningful and vital communities. Although I am from the other side of the Atlantic, I feel very much apart of the Black German community here in America. I identify more with their alienation than the alienation of my cohorts in Germany. Although it is complicated, I am certainly more accepted here.
I feel extremely blessed to be part of the Swirl family. It’s one of the only communities in my life where I don’t feel pressure to identify or define myself. In fact, I am not sure if any of us have actually asked each other the million dollar question – “What are you?” It is such a relief to just be accepted, regardless of my “makeup”. I have the opportunity to help other mixed-folk feel good about their diversity – creating a community that I did not have growing up. I want mixed-kids to develop a positive self-image and feel proud of their mixed heritage.
As of late I also feel very strongly connected to “my” butch-femme community. I say “my” bf community because I am not sure if there is one bf community per se. It’s a community of my own choosing, woven together not necessarily by geography but by shared values, ethics and mutual respect and adoration. While I have been femme as long as I can remember, this community aspect of my life is new and I haven’t really wrapped my mind around it sufficiently. So stay tuned as there is definitely more to come on this. Nevertheless, I think it represents a powerful model for community formation. It’s intentional, organic, and profoundly life-altering. I can’t wake up tomorrow and choose not to be American or German. I am not saying that I want to stop being one or the other. That’s not the point that I am coming to. However, the expectations, pressures, stereotypes and preconceived notions that come along with those identities are not of my own making. It has taken me years to feel empowered as a mixed-chick. Mind you, I say mixed chick…..not as German or American. I find beauty and joy in my mixedness. It’s the only way I actually make sense, how the world makes sense to me. The journey through which I came to consciousness about my mixed identity was very intentional and organic. Hmm, perhaps that is what it is all about.
Philly Salsa Community United for Haiti!!
So I am sitting here in my warm apartment tonight contemplating the last time I was out dancing – Brasil’s, Cuba Libre, The Reef…anything. It has been weeks.
I am in full winter hibernation mode.
It never fails. I get this way every year after the holidays. After all of the commotion of the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, I hit a lull. I become a complete homebody.
Can I just say that the timing is bad this year. I have dance rehearsal twice a week for April’s Estilo performance. I haven’t kept to my standard weekly dance schedule since I went home to Jax for Christmas.
Salsa is my therapy. The Medic can attest to how much I wig out when I don’t get my fix. Nevertheless, the power of hibernation has won over for the last few months.
I am back into the swing of things as of tomorrow night:
- Tues, 630pm-730pm salsa
- Thurs, 630pm-930pm salsa/bachata
- Fri, 9pm Brasil’s or Cuba Libre
- Saturday, 1030am-230pm rehearsal and salsa
- Saturday, 9pm Brasil’s
- Sunday, 1-3pm dance rehearsal
Speaking of dancing….if you like salsa, bachata, merengue, etc. and want to make a difference in the lives of Hatians who have been impacted by the earthquake, check out an upcoming event at Brazil’s:
Date: Thursday, Feb. 11th
Time: 9pm-2am
Location: Brasil’s Nightclub
(112 Chestnut St. Phila., PA)
Join Us As Our Salsa Community Unites! Here’s your chance to help those affected by the recent events in Haiti, all while doing what you love to do most!DJs United: DJ Jay Rockwell, DJ La Clave, DJ Jose Rodriguez, DJ Jose Maldoado; Salsa Lesson by: Vikki Woods & “Big” George Dennis; Also Featuring Great Raffles and Special Live Performances!
All DJ’s and Instructors have donated their time for this event and 100% of the proceeds will go to the relief effort on behalf of the Salsa community.
Admission: Requested $10 donation (The beneficiary chosen is the American Red Cross). YOUR DONATION DOUBLED!!! Jones New York has generously agreed to match any donations made from our fundraiser, so whatever you can give, it will be doubled!
Jeans & Shoe Donations Needed! We will also be accepting new and gently worn jeans and shoes for the people in Haiti the night of the fundraiser.
More info on Charity Organizations and their help with Haiti:
American Red Cross
Soles4Souls
Teens For Jeans
(Aéropostale Store will donate one brand new pair of jeans for every pair of donated jeans!)
NaBloWriMo Day 2: And the Journey Begins…
Here goes trying to eat healthy on a synced budget! I went shopping on Sunday and spent $32.01, therefore I have $7.99 left to spend this week on food. I didn’t come up with this experiment until the commute home, so I had to do quite a bit of math. Not sure if I am going to do the financial break down per meal every day, but thought this was interesting. I have felt satisfied every day so far and my clothes feel looser. So far so good!
Breakfast – $0.81
- 1 cup special K serial ($0.47)
- 1 cup 1% milk ($0.19)
- black tea ($0.10)*
- splenda ($0.05)*
- creamer (work provides)
Lunch -$1.18
- hummus ($0.25)*
- crackers ($0.31)
- salsa ($0.50)
- chamomile tea($0.10)*
- splenda ($0.05)*
Dinner -$1.63
- 2 eggs ($0.36)
- 1/8 cup red onion ($0.16)
- 1/8 cup red pepper ($0.26)
- 2 Tbsp parmasan ($0.10)
- 3.2 oz turkey kielbasa ($0.75)
Snacks -$0.63
- Special K strawberry granola bar ($0.42)*
- Green Apple ($0.21)
Total cost of food: $4.25
I definitely need to incorporate more fruit into my meals and I don’t drink nearly enough water.
NaBloWriMo Day 1: 30 Day Experiment on Healthy Eating on a Tight Budget
Ok…yeah, a bit late but I am doubling up today!!
I have struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. I nurtured my love affair with food from an early age. Although moving around (dad was/is military) has helped me to adapt to changes, it also turned me into an introvert in many ways. Food became my security blanket. It surely was a constant in my life.
I’ve tried every diet – Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, not eating, liquid diets, Dr. Adkins,…you name it. I have always felt the most balanced and happy on Weight Watchers. I joined the Weight Watchers track again last Friday.
On my first weigh in I lost 13.4lbs.
On my second weigh in I lost 1.2lbs.
On my third weigh in I lost 1.3lbs.
While I the WW platform seems to work for me, the meetings don’t. My weekly schedule is just too erratic. I would never be able to commit to the same meeting each week. So, I am going with the online option.
I am keeping it really simple – cutting out sugars and take out, switching to whole grain and drinking more water, and most importantly focusing on moving more.
I have been wrestling with how I am going to document this journey. A weight loss journal is rather BLAH! So, while contemplating the greater implications of my struggles to lose weight it came to me. I have read dozens of articles (and had even more conversations) about the cost burden of eating healthy. It can be cheaper to eat junk than maintain a health, balanced diet.
So, as part of my NaBloWriMo committment, I am going to explore how feasable it is to eat healthy on a strict budget. I usually spend $50-75 a week on groceries. For the next month I am going to spend $40 a week on groceries.
So the question is – how am I going to measure success? I know that I can shop within this budget constraint, but the question is, can I do so while feeling fulfilled? So, here are the variables:
- within $40 a week
- enjoyment
- filling
- variety
- balanced meals
- items from current pantry stock I will calculate cost and *them in order to distinguish between newly purchased item
So….here we go!
Check out ‘Blended Nation’ – Support Swirl!
Please save the date and come to the November 12th event in NYC! Swirl’s founder and executive director, Jen Chau, is featured in the book (Blended Nation) and she will be on a panel with the authors for a talk and book signing.
ALSO FYI – no matter where you are, between November 10th and 12th, we are having a “Swirl Bookfair” with Barnes and Noble. This means that on those days, if you log onto www.barnesandnoble.com/mybookfair, buy books and use a code (10043867), part of the proceeds go to Swirl!
Hope to see you at the NYC event if you are in town!
New York City
Thursday, November 12
Barnes & Noble Booksellers (TriBeCa)
97 Warren St (b/w Greenwich & West St)
7:00pm
(Talk and signing)Unfortunately I will be unable to make it, but I AM purchasing a copy of the book! Please do the same! Your support enables Swirl to continue to offer special events and advocacy for diversity in American society.
That’s Not My Closet!
This is long overdue. I have had to process this a bit longer than usual, but now some things need to be said. I rarely pray over blog posts. I contemplate, meditate and mull over, but rarely do I actually pray over a post. Nothing else has allowed me to get past the anger.Some of you – readers who follow me on Twitter and those I talk to on a daily basis – will know about the recent incident at my church. I have mentioned it vaguely on Twitter, but I’ve had to sit with it for a while before talking or writing about it. The gist of it – after much reflection and some troubling interactions, I decided to stop attending The Well. While I am out in every other aspect of my life, being queer remains complicated when it comes to where I choose to worship (not to be confused with my personal sense of Faith – God and I are great). Yet over the last couple of months, I have grown increasingly uncomfortable and disturbed by being shoved into a closet not of my own making at church.
So, fast forward to a few Sundays ago – I was texting with a friend of mine from the Well. She asked if I was planning on attending that morning. My response “I don’t think I can go back. I am tired of being in someone elses closet.” Little did I know that my rather matter-of-fact comments would create a tidal wave of more disaster than I could have ever imagined. I don’t know specifics, but some sort of announcement was made by said friend about my decision in front of the entire congregation. I was selectively out at The Well. I have grown increasingly uncomfortable with that over the last six months and it contributed to my decision to stop attending. I received a frantic (and cryptic) voice mail from this friend immediately following, as well as a dozen un-friendings on FB and two marginally
sympathetic emails.Sidenote – I was a little irked at first that my exit was hijacked, but I wish everyone had an ally like her.
For the longest time I thought that remaining in an non-affirming church was the right thing to do. I thought that if every queer person left a non-affirming parish, it was like condoning the hateful theology. I don’t believe that anymore. Reality is that non-affirming churches are hurting people in the name of Christ and that is wrong. By remaining in such an environment means I have a hand in perpetuating that harmful behavior. That is something I refuse to do!
Put whatever spin on it that you like, but non-affirming churches are stepped in homophobia. While individually expressing their “love” for all of God’s children, they spew hate from the pulpit, likening queer folk to the deplorable acts of murders and pedophiles. My whole body cringed that day in church. I was in complete disbelief about what I had just heard, especially since just moments before the same person said he was glad I was at The Well. I can’t even sugar coat it anymore. I can’t make it sound pretty because it isn’t. Sure you can wrap it in a bow, say you love the person but reject the sin, but, my God, that is hateful! Hurting people in God’s name…I am sure there’s a commandment about that!
There seems to be a disconnect between scriptural message and the application thereof. Every message of Christ in the Gospels underscore his complete, absolute and unconditional love for all humans, regardless of disposition. Yet, the message from the pulpit towards LGBT individuals (and anyone that is different for that matter) is one of contempt and disgust.
I am not going to waste anyone’s time with a dissection of a handful of scriptural references often spewed completely out of context or some mind-numbing theological diatribe (but here are some great resources and Whosoever has a great book store). However, I will say this without reservation – a church that condemns queer people from the pulpit is culpable in the collective hate and destruction that supposed Christian communities hurl onto queer youths and adults. Thousands of queer kids are driven to suicide each year by the isolation and hate they experience in their lives – from their families, teachers, peers, and yes, their churches – from people and communities who claim to love and support them. These churches are equally responsible for the damage that causes. I am sickened that that churches foster such an environment of shame and hate that it forces wonderful, people into closets they would otherwise not be in. I began to feel like I was living in someone elses closet – someone elses space of shame and embarrassment.I refuse to live someone elses lie! I am neither ashamed nor embarrassed by my sexuality. No more or less than my hetero counterparts.
They may have queer friends, invite them into their lives, let them use their bathroom (sorry, I could not resist), but that does not excuse or negate the underlying prejudice. It doesn’t change the reality of the situation – the conditionality of acceptance, the separate and unequal status in their lives.
It is not my responsibility to make people feel good about their bigotry, to spin it so that it sounds less messy. This is a hate free zone. With that in mind, as you consider adding your comments to this post, know that only constructive, non defaming comments will be approved. Either add something constructive to the discussion or kindly walk away.If you are a Christian in a non-affirming church, I truly hope that you have a change of heart, that you rethink the prejudice, hate and damage you sign on to with that decision.
If you are a queer Christian who feels isolated and hurt, know you are not alone. Know that you are loved and cherished exactly how you are here on earth AND before God. Know that at the very least, you have a friend here with me!
Also – check out your local Lutherans Concerned. There are hundreds of Lutheran ELCA parishes that are fully accepting AND affirming of LGBT individuals and families. Rainbow Baptists provides a link for LGBT members within the Baptist communion. And, of course, there are thousands of Metropolitan Community Churches throughout the country. Whosoever Magazine is also a great online resource, providing a “safe and sacred space” for LGBT Christians.
I will be putting together a list of loving and affirming community resources under the “community links” tab. If you have any specific links that I should include, please leave a link and brief description in a comment.
Building Alliances, One Millenial at a Time
Today I would like to announce the launch of NonProfit Millenial Bloggers Alliance, a consortium of next generation leaders in the non profit world doing good for social change. I have participated in several consortium and working groups over the last decade. Some have been great and others not so much! This one is truly special! I was really excited when Alison Jones of Entry Level Living asked me to be a part of this new initiative. To be in the company of my peers, several of them colleagues, is quite amazing.
- Alison Jones, Entry Level Living, @ajlovesya
- Rosetta Thurman, Perspectives from the Pipeline, @rosettathurman
- James Elbaor, From the Desk of Jason Elbaor, @jameselbaor
- Elisa M. Ortiz, Onward and Upward, @emortiz
- Elizabeth Clawson, Nonprofit Periscope, @eclawson
- Trina Isakson, Trina’s Nonprofit Blog, @telleni
- Colleen Dilenschneider, Know Your Bone, @cdilly
- Tera Wozniak Qualls, Social Citizen, @terawozqualls
- Tracey Webb, Black Gives Back, @blkgivesback
- Kevin Gilnack, (Nonprofits + Politics)2.0, @kgilnack
I have followed many of them for quite some time and am am always learning new things from them. More than serving as a mere collective, I am interested to see how we forge partnerships, learn from each other and build capacity beyond our immediate group.
Be sure to add them to your google reader (or whatever blog bookmark that you are using)…and stay tuned!
In the Lexicon of Hate
This post is long overdue. I started writing weeks ago but got distracted by work.
I get distracted easily – sometimes to my own peril! Case in point – I was on the bus several days ago (weeks at this point) trying to finish my much overdo Citizenship Day post. Everything was hunky dory. One glance to the street and I came face to face with a big ole’ confederate flag license plate on a Ford pickup truck.
I never get used to seeing that symbol of hate, especially up north. I almost expect it when I travel to a southern state. But, in a northern state it seems out of place – at first glance anyway! Reality is that the meaning ascribed to the confederate flag has shifted from being a symbol of the antebellum south to being firmly rooted in the lexicon of iconography of racism and xenophobia that has and continues to permeate through American culture and politics. The Mason Dixon line remains an artifact in the racist history of the United States, but does little to serve as a line of demarcation. The confederate flag and all that it represents flies in all 50 states.
As a quick primer for people not in the know, a confederate flag first made its appearance in March of 1861. The confederate flag would evolve to include thirteen stars (symbolizing the 13 states that seceded from the union). Not until March 1865 did it begin to resemble the current incarnation of the confederate flag that we have come to know. During World War II, Southern soldiers began to use the Confederate “battle flag” (aka “southern cross” or “rebel flag”) as their unofficial emblem. While the official use of the confederate battle flag is quite rare, it has become fossilized as one of the primary symbols of “southern” pride. (I am not sure how much pride someone should have in racism and hate, but to each their own, right?) Apparently residents in most southern states can request a license plate tag featuring the Sons of the Confederate Veterans logo. Brilliant, no?
This brings me to my most recent Christmas experience. To say that it was interesting would be an understatement. My mom spent the holiday with my Dad in Germany. (For those of you new to my blog, my dad is in the US Army and currently stationed abroad). My sister, niece and I drove up to Georgia to spend time with some of her friends. I have never felt more out of place and uncomfortable. I spent much of the long weekend at a neighbors house or visiting friends.
Of course I was the one being inappropriate and “rude” by taking issue with being surrounded by the confederate flag – blankets, screen savers…even confederate Christmas songs. I should not have to explain to my family why I (as a mixed chick) feel uncomfortable in the presence of these images and people who wear them proudly. Sometimes I wonder if it ever crosses their mind that these images are not an appropriate symbol of southern culture – other than as a reminder that hate and bigotry are alive and well in this country, that the South’s ugly past is not behind it. Many couch the meaning of the confederate flag in the debate of states rights. “Southern states were defending their states’ right enumerated in the Constitution.” But, let’s finish that sentence, shall we?! They were defending their states right to uphold the institution of slavery – an institution that viewed and treated blacks as less than chattel!
I have been sitting on this post for far too long. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I am also not going to edit myself away. Needless to say, I don’t want to ever be put into that kind of position again, especially by family. I take as much responsibility for not advocating for myself as much as I should have. Lessons learned….
Facing Deportation – Stand with Julio and Denis
I recently posted about the impending deportation of Julio Maldonado and Denis Calderon after being falsely prosecuted for defending themselves against a racially-motivated attack. I recently received the below email from Dave Bennion of Citizen Orange which he received from the families.Join me tomorrow at a community meeting and rally for Julio and Denis!
Date and Time: Sunday, October 4, 3:30 p.m.
Location: Houston Community Center, 2029 South 8th Street (8th & Snyder, South Philadelphia)I am emailing about the case of Julio Maldonado and Denis Calderon, two cousins from Peru who were attacked for racial reasons, wrongfully convicted in Philadelphia, and now stand on the brink of deportation from their U.S. citizen families. We will be holding a rally/community meeting one week from today to raise awareness about Julio and Denis’s case.
Julio finished his federal prison sentence on September 12. ICE attempted to deport him last week–we don’t know why it didn’t happen, this information came indirectly through backchannels since DHS is not telling the family much. There is currently no legal impediment to Julio’s deportation. That is why it is urgent that Governor Rendell take action on the pending pardon and that DHS exercise its discretion to stop the deportation until a decision on the pardon can be reached.
Seth Williams (Dem candidate for Philadelphia District Attorney) has still not accounted for his role in this injustice as the prosecutor on the case who ran an incomplete, biased prosecution. These are among the topics we’ll be discussing at the meeting, along with the role of Philadelphia law enforcement in breaking up immigrant families today–this was a problem in 1996 when Julio and Denis were attacked and it is even more of a problem today.
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