I usually call it like I see it. If I think something is incorrect, I say so. If I think someone is acting like a bigot, I let them know. Very rarely do I remain silent when I think something is off.
Yet, this is exactly what I did this past holiday. My reasoning is quite understandable (at least from my perspective), yet it still does not sit right with me. I chose politeness and “etiquette” over my principles, and I feel crappy about it.
I spent the Christmas holidays with my sister and her friends. They are nice people and were a vital support system for my sister when her relationship with Christina’s father crumbled. Yet, these people are straight up rednecks – pick up truck driving, wrangler jeans wearing, confederate flag flying Rednecks!
I have a hard time biting my tongue. I slipped once or twice, especially when it came to baby daddy. Yet, I am quite surprised that I didn’t flip on a few occasions. God knows I had every right to. I didn’t bother to tell my mother, as I knew what her response would be – I am overreacting, I am being ridiculous, I am being too sensitive.
I felt quite uncomfortable with Old Glory all around me – blankets, mini-flags and screen savers. It was all just a bit too much for this mixedchick. I don’t even know if they realize that I am a mixedchick. Surely they had no clue that I am queer.
While I am disturbed by the circus that was Christmas, I am more appalled by my silence. I felt too uncomfortable to say anything and I felt too trapped to be able to remove myself from the situation. I did have a brief reprieve when I met my Swirlie sister and her family for brunch on Friday.
I should have said something to my sister (at least in private). Letting her assume everything was fine may not have been the most honest approach. Yet, you live, you learn, and you move on!